blah blah "war on cars" blah blah etc.

here is a list of menaces on toronto roads, in order of menacingness:

1. taxis. why? the thing that causes the most problems in traffic is unpredictability. taxis are the least predictable of all. that guy on the sidewalk - could be a fare? swerve toward curb without signalling. not a fare? swerve back into traffic without signalling. there's a fare on the other side of the street, u-turn without signalling. maybe they'll run up the fare by driving super slow, maybe they'll zip around like a crazed lunatic so they can get the next fare. they're going places they've never been before, maybe they're lost, maybe the fare is giving them weird directions that don't even make sense. they're talking to dispatch, they're trapped in a car for 12 hours so they're edgy, they want a coffee, they need to pee, they want to talk on their mobile. who knows what they're doing or where they're going? they barely know themselves.

2. truckers. they'd rather be on the highway. they have a tough time accelerating and braking, and they don't like braking because braking = gas = money. like taxi drivers, they're trapped in a car for 12 hours, so they have all of those distractions. worst of all, they have crap visibility. they take nine lanes to turn a corner, and can't see if someone is right next to them. some of them seem to think that might = right, if there's a collision they're not the ones who are gonna lose, so look out!

3. bicycle couriers. they're crazy unpredictable like taxi drivers, and have the same dispatch/time = money distractions. and they're chippy about people getting in their way, with that whole "i'm a counter-culture free spirit earth saver" attitude when really they're mostly just assholes. fortunately, they rarely leave downtown.

4. people waiting for the ttc. where is the bus/streetcar? maybe if you stand in the middle of the road you will see it? maybe if you stand in the middle of a busy intersection you can hedge your bets as to whether you will catch this bus or that bus? maybe if you see your streetcar three blocks away, you should stand in the road to wait for it? and glare at any vehicles who pass the closed doors of the not-yet-stopped streetcar? there's the bus, maybe if you run into traffic you can catch it! again, unpredictable.

there are more menaces, obvs. but those are the top 4.

eta: i almost forgot one of the worst menaces!

5. fitness people. i was gonna say joggers (whoops they call themselves "runners" now, same diff), but today i watched some douche on rollerblades in traffic squeeze between cars and then cut in front of a truck as it started up when the light turned green. seriously? some people barely consider bicycles to be roadworthy vehicles. rollerskates and sneakers are definitely not roadworthy vehicles. jogging on queen st. w. between the streetcars and parked cars, blocking cyclists in a bike lane, stop it all. even those on the sidewalk can be a menace - with their ipods and general lack of awareness, they look up at the last moment to see the light might be changing - and of course, they just can't stop for even a second - so they randomly change direction to try to dart across the street on a yellow light. feh.

what is a cyclist?

ok we've got a lot of bicycles in our neighbourhood with bike lanes on davenport, christie, and soon to come on shaw. so here's a guide to the various kinds of cyclist stereotypes in the foothills and toronto at large.

convenience riders. yes i made that up. this is the largest group. they hate driving in traffic and don't want to pay for parking. or gas. they don't want to wait for a ttc bus that will never arrive. they just want to get to and from work without stressing out too much. they have a car, they know the rules of the road, they follow them for the most part.

• convenience rider subgroup a: doesn't really consider a bicycle to be a vehicle, so whatever. includes that twentysomething who just wants to look like a cute hipster in a magazine spread, and people like my neighbour who only ever rides his bicycle to take his dog to the park a half block on the way. he rides on the sidewalk, so? why do you care? he doesn't care.
• convenience rider subgroup b: students. they sleep in too late to walk to class, and they can't afford other methods of transportation. they aren't really awake yet (doesn't matter the time of day) and being on the young side, aren't fully aware that other people are separate beings with their own lives and places to go, as opposed to just random obstacles placed in their way by a game designer. not malicious, just clueless.
• convenience rider subgroup c: really only has a bicycle because they can't afford another mode of transportation or want to stay incognito/unlicensed, and doesn't care about anything either way. includes some sketchy types who are probably dealing weed, and people with milk crates who look in your recycling bin for beer bottles.
• convenience rider subgroup d: e-bike riders. really a mashup of a and c. don't consider their bike to be a vehicle. don't know any of the rules of the road, especially the one that says you're not allowed to use your e-bike in a bike lane unless you are pedalling. like subgroup c, they would totally be driving a car if they could afford it and/or didn't need a valid drivers' license with their real name on it.
• convenience rider subgroup e: tourist and bixi riders. they don't know where they're going! they don't know what the rules are! they will stand in the middle of the road and ask you where the cn tower is. we're supposed to put up with them because "it's good for the economy."

convenience riders - the largest group - are not in any way politicized. they just want to be left alone to get where they are going without being killed.

"cyclists." this is a minority group, sorry. these are people who say, "hi i'm a cyclist," or join cycling things, or put "bike" in their email handle.

• "cyclists" subgroup a: is a nervous nelly who gets super uptight about rules and thinks that the only way to earn the respect of drivers is to follow all rules to the letter, stepping off and walking if they need to cross in a pedestrian crosswalk, signalling lane changes, and stopping dead at every stop sign, even when turning right. they feel they are setting a good example, one you should follow. this is a verrry small minority.
• "cyclists" subgroup b: the activist. gets very us-vs-them-ish. they have banners on their bike that say "one less car" or making snide comments about how car drivers hate traffic but they "are" traffic, blithely forgetting that cyclists (and pedestrians for that matter) are also traffic. they can get pretty self-righteous about everything.
• "cyclists" subgroup c: are the enviro-types who like to make a big deal about how they are saving the earth and you are not. maybe they are an entrepreneur who runs an organic cloth diaper service with a cargo bike. something like that.
• "cyclists" subgroup d: fitness freaks. they've got the gear, the carbon-fibre frame, the lycra, they probably drove their bike to wherever it is that they are riding. these guys can be pretty obnoxious and self-righteous because they are so damn healthy. well good for you, bud. yeah maybe i'd be less crabby if i was as "active" as you are, but maybe i don't care.

it's mainly "cyclists" who get political about stuff. except for the fitness freak types.

finally:

couriers. these are really another subgroup of "cyclists," but they are so far to the extreme they deserve their own category. these are the crazy ones, the ones everyone loves to hate. they have a chip on their shoulder about their "rights," and think their "rights" trump everyone else's. they don't have much respect for other bike riders either, because they get in the way. they're a bit mad max. they say dumb things like "when i'm riding on the sidewalk, i plan for where pedestrians and adjust my speed/route accordingly. it's only when they react weirdly that there's a problem." which is another way of saying, "i like to think i am psychic, but i fail constantly." 

these are the ones rosie di manno wants to shoot.

fortunately, they are also a tiny minority, only existing downtown for the most part. stay away from downtown and you will never see them. i don't think i have ever seen a bike courier on davenport.

all yer neighbourhood issues, all in one place

so here's some stuff that's happening.

1. 1145 ossington ave, aka that giant pit being used for backhoe storage. currently zoned for light industrial (used to be a uniform laundry service). owner (dunpar developments) wants to build a bunch of townhouses on a private lane. 4 storeys, 121 units. city said, too many houses for that size of a lane. nothing decided yet.

city backgrounder 2007
article from inside toronto 2007
city backgrounder 2008
omb paper trial 2007-2013
city zoning application 2012

2. 840 dupont at, aka sobeys. currently zoned for sobeys. owner (?) wants to rezone for "mixed use development including office, retail, and residential uses." no word on how many storeys, how many units, what kind of retail, where they're going to park, blah blah.

city zoning application 2013

3. ossington 63 bus is maybe going to be rerouted to go up and around on winona, tyrrell, and alberta. yes, really! this would mean no more street parking and removing a bunch of speed bumps and a general traffic nightmare of busses trying to turn left on winona from davenport blocking a heap of traffic at a corner that's already a congested mess half the time. so far the staff report recommends NOT DOING SOMETHING THIS STUPID but the ttc board or whatever still has to make a decision (which is supposed to happen at a meeting next week)

ttc report

some of this is happening in ward 17, some in 19, some in 21. and the condos that have been under construction for the last 8 years at lansdowne & dupont (ward 18) have had signs on them saying "warning if you buy a condo your kids are gonna take a bus to get to school coz there's no room at the inn basically" or whatever.

ever driven west on dupont in the afternoon? it's a shitshow.

ever waited 25 minutes for a dupont bus that broke down two stops later? that'll be so much more fun with all the crowds of condo/townhome dwellers from all these new developments.

now that's what i call planning!

a google map of places to go in the neighbourhood

here you go:


View neighbourhood places in a larger map